Category: Animal House
This is something I wrote on Facebook about 3 weeks ago about returning my guide dog for a career change. I hadn't posted it here because I know how many guide dog users are on the zone, and honestly, as wempy as it sounds, I wasn't emotionally ready for any backlash or negative comments I might receive. Since I mentioned returning him in another post, I figured I'd explain, so here goes. Oh yeah, Pupster wasn't his real name. lol I just like my anonimity.
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Our family needs prayers for strength today.
After months of hoping things would turn out differently, and lots of prayer and deliberation, I have made the decision to return Pupster to Guide Dogs for the Blind for a career change. He’s leaving this afternoon to begin his new adventure, whatever that may be. He will likely be retrained as a therapy dog or a drug detection dog.
This is hard for me because I love Pupster but even more difficult for the Kidlet. While he understands what’s happening and wy, he’s still an 8-year-old little boy who is losing a dog that’s been with us for the past 4 years. His mind gets it but his heart doesn’t. Among the many difficult decisions I've made in my life, this was definitely one of the hardest.
Here’s what went into this decision. When I got Pupster as my second guide in November of 2008, we were living in an area that had access to public transportation. There were also many places to which Pupster and I could walk safely and independently. Pupster and I went all over the place together. We had no entintion of moving. We figured we would be there forever. Those of you who’ve known me for a long time know that the decision to move to our current location was based soully on the need to get the Kidlet into a better school situation. When we chose this house, we did so based on the school attendance zone as well as the fact that the Hubby would have access to Para Transit services to get to work. Our other options would have put him too far from the park and ride to make that feezable. We knew that my options for independent travel would be limited although I don’t think at the time, we fully realized the impact such a change would have on me. That’s a post for another time however.
After living here for a few months, I had to accept the fact that there’s just no safe way to walk anywhere outside of the 5 blocks of our neighborhood. The only road outlet after the residential streets is a highway with a 55 mph speed limit, and no sholder. I could walk in the grass except for the fact that it is not well maintained and there’s a huge culvert within a few feet. The other outlet is a pathway that leads through another culvert which fills with water when it rains, becoming a small creek and is also not well maintained. We’ve seen large snakes in the area so it isn’t safe to be tromping through any of this high grass. Besides, the grass is taller than Pupster anyway most of the time.
When I go places, I’m almost always with other people or I’m taking a taxi. I’ve never had success traveling with my dogs with sighted companions. Besides, Pupster and I walk so fast together that we either leave people in the dust or I end of with one heck of a sore sholder from holding him back. He’s got a great pull.
After realizing this last summer, I contacted GDB and asked if he would be reissued as a guide to someone else if he were returned. The guilt of having such a wonderful dog going to waist was very troubling for me. GDB staff indicated that Pupster was too old to be reissued; he was 4 and a half at that time. We decided that I would continue to keep him and see if this area would be further developed thus providing us more opportunities to work. I was hopeful that I would be able to find opportunities to work him and that things would start to build up around us. It does not appear that that’s going to happen any time in the foreseeable future. Being a Guide Dog user has been a very important part of who I am and I really hesitated to pull the plug on the independence that having a dog provides. My main concern was for Pupster though. It still is.
Over the past year, Pupster has gotten little to no work. Again, this is something that troubles me greatly. He loves to work and is very good at it. With no work, comes bordem for a dog though. A bored Pupster is a destructive Pupster. He has basically become a pet and that is not the purpose for which he was given to me. I have such high regard for the organization of Guide Dogs for the Blind and I know how hard their staff worked to give me the opportunity to use a guide for the years I did. Despite their reassurances to the contrary, part of me feels like I’ve failed them and failed Pupster and in the process have broken the heart of my little boy.
While in my head, and in about 90 percent of my heart, I know what I’m doing is best for Pupster, and for whomever will have the blessing of working with himn in the future, this is still very hard. For those of you who are reading this and who are wondering how I could be so heartless for just giving him back since I can’t use him, I respectfully ask you to keep those thoughts to yourselves. You’re not thinking anything I haven’t already thought. Of course I love my dog and of course I love my son. It’s because I love Pupster that I feel it’s in his best interest to return to GDB, be retrained, and fulfill his purpose, a purpose which I believe is much greater than what he’s doing now. This dog was born to work. He loves to work and I know he’ll be as amazing in his new career as he has been in his career as my guide.
If you pray, I would ask for prayers for comfort for the Kidlet as he copes with this unusual way of losing a pet. That’s what I’ll be praying for. I’ll also be praying that Pupster finds success and is able to bless another lucky person as much as he has blessed me. Thanks for reading.
Ps. Pupster, I know you can’t read but I have to write this down anyway. You are an amazing, loyal dog and I love you very much. I always will. We’ll keep your pictures and when we think of you, we’ll remember all the joy you brought into our family. Thank you for being such a great guide. Be a good boy and have lots of fun, ok?
What a difficult decision to have to make. Thanks for sharing such a heartfelt post. I commend you for putting your dog's best interests ahead of your own. I think many people would have been tempted to just keep him as a pet and find an excuse to retire him early. While I'm sure it is difficult for your son, it is a good lesson and example you are setting for him by demonstrating that having a guide dog is a responsibility that you clearly have taken very seriously. Your Pupster was meant to work and I'm glad you were able to put him in a situation where he will be able to continue to work even if it is a new career. He sounds like a great dog. Best wishes to you, your Pupster and your family.
This is a hard choice for you or anyone at any time to have to make. Cudos to you for taking your dogs best interest and giving him the best life he could have.
You have my respect. I have never had a guide dog, but fully know and understand what it's like to go from good access to zero, for the sake of the kid's education, and all of the unintended problems that come up as a consequence. I honestly hope you get no backlash, and would consider such backlash to be a very cowardly response to your heartfelt, well-thought-out decision and post.
DG, you've done the best decision for your dog. I'm sure it is very hard decision, to parted with your guide, not so much as a mobility aid, but as part of the family too. In some way, it is like giving part of you away. But i'm sure it is the best decision you can have for him. Whoever may think you did a wrong decision, i think, they need to eveluate their problems...
you did what sounds best, for humans and animals alike. so, there's no way anyone should give you crap for what you decided. cause, although I'm not a guide dog user myself, nor do I ever wanna become one, I can certainly empathize with how difficult it'd be to make such a life altering decision.
DG, like others have said, I admire and respect you for making such a difficult decision. I can tell by your post that it was not an impulsive one, you thought it through from all angles, you gave it every chance to work out, and circumstances just weren't in your or Pupster's favor. It's clear you're making this decision out of love for him, and the desire to see him have a full and happy life, not a boring one. I wouldn't call your decision heartless at all, quite the opposite, in fact. It would be very tempting to put your interests ahead of his. In fact I have a friend who is in very similar circumstances as yours. Even the school has told her she should give up the dog because it isn't getting enough work, etc. But she's so set on having a pet that she is keeping it. She is putting her own interest and wants ahead of her dog's. But you've not done that.
I too, had to give up a guide. I did not have him for as long as you've had Pupster, so I'm trying to imagine my pain and guilt magnified by a few years, and my heart aches for you. I had to give up Dusty for similar reasons. We were not in an area conducive to much independent travel. There was hardly any public transit where I was going to college, and the town was not at all pedestrian friendly. Dusty simply was not getting enough work, was not being used for what he had been trained for. Like Pupster, he was getting bored, and it showed. The other issue was that I was going through so many changes in my life at that time: living away from home for the first time, a freshman in college, and other personal things. In retrospect, I had no business getting a guide dog at that time. It's a huge change and adjustment when someone is at their most settled, let alone when they've got 20 other changes going on. But at the time, I didn't see that. All I saw was that Dusty wasn't getting enough work, I was under a ton of stress, and it clearly effected him. It was not at all his fault that I returned him to the school. He was a well-trained and well-behaved dog, and I loved him. The school said he was young enough that they would likely pair him as a guide with someone else, but I was never told what happened to him. I still think of him to this day. Plenty of tears were shed while I struggled with that choice, and for quite awhile after I returned him.
So, I'm not going to sit here and say I know exactly how you feel, because I can't, and don't. But I do have a very small inkling of it. I do pray, and I will be praying for you, your family, and Pupster.
DG, I've been there, when we moved to our current location and with a change in jobs it became impossible to work him daily as his energy level required. It was one of the hardest days of my life working my oliver for the last trip and having them pick him up the next day. Even though times have changed and I could probably now work a guide actively, I still feel bad for having to send back my previous guide that I can't make myself obtain another. Best of luck.
Thanks everyone for your kind and supportive responses.
SD, I'm sorry you had to go through something similar. I can't even imagine how challenging that first year of college would have been with all the dog stuff on top of it. That's allot to have had on your plate. It's comforting to hear that others have had to make the same decisions for similar reasons. I've heard it it happening but had never talked with anyone who had experienced returning a guide. I think that's part of why I felt so alone when making the decision.
Leo, you and I have talked about this issue of sacrifices for the sake of the kiddo before. It's also comforting to know other blind parents who've been in this situation. Most think I'm nuts for having put myself in this situation but the changes in my son's environment and the improvements in his disposition as it relates to school are worth every other frustration. Thanks.
D.L.O. you're right. it was very tempting to keep him as a pet and about 6 months ago, that's what I was leaning toward. Pupster clearly had other ideas and showed me so by negative behaviors. Because we have 2 other dogs, my retired guide who's 14, and my husband's working guide who's 8, it was difficult to tell which dog was peeing all over the house. Since Pupster left, I haven't cleaned up one mess from pee, chewed up stuffed animals, food knocked off counters, drinks knocked off tables, etc so I guess that answered that question. Pupster had no pacients for being on tie down or in a crait. He would bark loudly and constantly in either situation so I would often allow him a bit of ffreedom which was obviously part of the problem. He was also a jumper and a humper so we had quite a few challenges. I often said that in harness he was an angel and a excelent guide but out of harness, he was hell on 4 legs. I think some of it was just his high energy personality and perhaps habbits that weren't broken during puppyhood as he came to me that way. However, I do take responsibility for allot of it as well. As much as I would like to be super woman, apparently 3 dogs, a kid and husband were a bit too much for me to handle well. Somebody was in control and it wasn't he 2-legged one. lol
That made the decision a bit easier, sort of. If he would have had better out of harness behavior, I might have made a different decision.
My husband and I were talking the other day about Pupster and he brought up an interesting point. We also think that some of the problems, especially the peeing and humping might have been Pupster's attempt to gain alpha status over my retired guide. Although I showed them equal affection and Pupster got more attention, I think they still had issues with one another. I now understand why many dog users prefer to adopt their retired guides out.
Niki, HH, and Buttercup, thanks as well for your support and kind words.
As for the kidlet, he's adjusting well. The first few days were rough for all of us. He mentions Pupster every now and then and still looks at his pictures on his Ipod but he's also enjoying the 2 dogs who are here more.
My retired guide has even perked up quite a bit. He had gotten really skiddish and slow and we now think that part of that may have been that since he's losing his vision and his back legs are getting very week and painful as he ages, he may have been fearful of the constant ambushing from Pupster. The other day, he actually went running, running I say, around the back yard. It's been comforting to see the changes in his behavior as well.
I've put in a call to GDB since Pupster should have completed his reevaluation by now so when I hear back from them as to his future plans, I'll post. I think he'll do great in a environment where he's the only dog and has opportunities to work in some capasity. I'm excited to find out what that will be.
Well, this got long. Thanks for reading.
BDD, I certainly understand where you're coming from there. It'll be several years before my situation changes so I doubt I'll ever get another guide either. That has felt like closing a huge chapter in my life and I think I struggled with that as much as anything.
I guess our lives are made up of different seasons. Now my job is to figure out what this season holds.
Sorry you had to go through that with Oliver. Cute name by the way.
awe i do sympathise with you and i do agree it is not a easy task having to let your dog go especially when you got along with one another so well.
Well i had to give my one up because apparently he was becoming to aggressive and i really didn't blame him as of all the stress he was under because of students teasing him and giving him a hard time and we didn't want some thing to seriously happen but the good thing was he was able to be retrained and passed onto another person.
I have many fond memories of him as you shall have and last i heard my dog Jonah had been given a early retirement but then sadly he had to be put to sleep because he had a tumor growing in his head.
Thanks for sharing your heart felt story with us it it did bring me to tears as i'm a big softy when it comes to animals.
Old topic, but I didn't see it when it was first posted. So late as it is, DG, you have my sympathy; your post made me cry a little. I'm sorry you had to go through something like this, and I hope your son has coped and continues to cope well.
Aww, thanks yall. yeah, I hadn't seen this one in a while. Everything on this front is going well. I never did hear back from GDB as to what happened with Pupster so perhaps ignorance is bliss.
We're now a one-dog family as my retired guide passed away in January. My husband's guide still wonders around the house looking for him, I think. Pretty much, what we've decided is that after my son graduates, about 9 years from now, we'll move elsewhere once he's gone off to college. I'm thinking about a small town with residential areas near the center of town. Believe it or not, there's one a few miles south of here. They have really nice houses only blocks away from stores and restaurants. Woohoo. That's a long way off though.
For now, I'll just enjoy the less responsiblilty. lol
DomesticGoddess, I can't imagine how hard this must have been for you. I admit, when I was first reading your post, one of the thoughts I had was, "Well, what if the dog would just be happy to stay with the family he's loved for a few years? What if that was enough?", but when you later mentioned Pupster's bad behavior, which obviously wasn't a problem after he was returned for retraining, I think that sorta clinched it for me.
People who tell you it's selfish to keep a dog you had as a guide but who can't work anymore...well, they're only seeing part of the equation, if you ask me. Sure, that dog was trained to guide, but it's also a dog, first and foremost, and it will have bonded with its family or even its working partner. Whether or not you give a guide back should, I think, be weighed very heavily, and thoughts of selfishness for wanting to turn him into a pet shouldn't be so shameful. But perhaps this is another one of those situations where not having had a dog of my own sort of disqualifies me.
This little ramble basically sums up best when I say that I'm sorry your elderly dog has passed on and am sorry that you had to give up Pupster, but I do hope things look up for you. I've never been in quite the tight space you're talking about, as far as mobility goes, it's got to suck, and I would be similarly stuck if, say, I was living with my dad, who's way out in the country off a highway with very little workable shoulder to walk on. Anyway, long-winded post over, I promise. Best of luck to ya.
Yep, DS, I had exactly many of the same thoughts you expressed. I was afraid that Pupster, in his own Pupster way, would feel abandoned. However, I also had to consider my alegeance to the school from which he came. They put allot of money into these dogs and having a $52,000 pet weighed heavily on me.
D G, you made the right decision for you and Pupster. I to had to give up my first guide. I only had him for two months, but it was still really hard to give him up. I to felt like I failed my school, and failed my dog. But in the end, I'm glad I did it. He got rematched with someone else, and went on to guide for many years. Good luck with your future dreams of moving to that neighborhood you menchoned, and just remember all the good times you had with your best friend.
awe and I sympathise with those whom have had to do that but just know you didn't fail with your dog and it is always good to hear that they can be matched and working as with mine it first went on a holiday on a farm as he needed a break and then was passed onto another handler and then a few others and then I heard over the phone years ago that he had a early retirement and then put down due to having a brain tumor that was growing or moving but yes remember the good times you had with him or her and you never know you might try again when your ready or not, hugs.
I did try again. Three years later, I got my second guide. He worked for six years, and I am now on my third. I couldn't be happier. It's deffinately hard to give up a guide, but if you truly love the dog, you'll do what's best for him/her and you.
god! you are one strong person! i would have not been able to give him up. but, i, in my opinion think you did the best thing. i am certaine you think of him often. god bless you!
very well put and congratulations with the dog you now have and how cool, smiles.
Thanks, and yes, I do think of him from time to time. However, I know he's in a wonderful home, and is happy. I've had my third dog for two years now, and were very close. It's never easy giving up a guide, but for those of us that had a few, we know we can always try again, and get another partner.
that is so true but still it is not easy especially when bonding with them but I am glad to hear he is in a good home, smiles.
Yeah, me to. I'm glad he's happy, and it was hard to give him up. The one thing I kept telling myself was, I'm doing this for him. Because, he was letting me know he didn't want to do the job anymore.
awe